Now, I also thought this was a very funny and remarkable event, not likely to be repeated, as the song says, "for months and months and months". But most of my wife's relatives were convinced that I must be deeply embarrassed, this being my first meeting with some of them, and my first meeting with nearly all of them after becoming a member of the family. Jesus makes gold out of trash, however, and he made this experience an incredibly valuable learning experience for me.

So certain were Barbara's relatives that I was embarrassed, that there was nothing I could do to convinced them otherwise. If I laughed with them about it, my wife would report to me that the family was making quiet comments about how well I was holding up under the strain. If I just tried to forget it and talk of other things, then they assumed that I was about to crack under the weight of humiliation and couldn't bear to mention what had happened. There was, at times, a noticeable tension in the air, so concerned were they for my ruined happiness. There was nothing, absolutely nothing, I could do to convince some of those very good people that I actually enjoyed that strange ride on the unfaithful vine, and that I felt no embarrassment whatsoever.

I thought that it was amazing that the thick vine would carry those 200+ pound men for ride after ride, and then collapse under the weight of a (relatively speaking) 98-pound weakling. But they were so concerned about making me feel welcome and comfortable that they didn't notice that I already did feel that way. I have pondered this situation many, many times, and it has always intrigued me that, for whatever reason, some of them there seemed to be so sure of how I felt that everything I did was interpreted from that wrong perspective. There was no way at all for me to communicate to them what I was really feeling.

This situation was an innocent one, with no eternal implications and no harm done on any side. It was to their credit that they were so concerned with my feelings. But from this simple, unusual event, I learned a valuable lesson. For there was such a certainty on the part of some of my wife's relatives that I was embarrassed, I began almost to believe it myself. On a couple occasions, in fact, I had to "shake myself", as it were, to keep from behaving as though I were embarrassed. "Wait a minute", I would tell myself, "I don't feel that way!"

It was here, in this remarkable circumstance, that I first noticed the depth and reality of spiritual influence. We all are affected by what we feel from the people around us. And if we do not know ourselves well, we may easily become confused. "Be not deceived", Paul wrote to the saints, "evil companions corrupt good manners" (1Cor. 15:33). By the same token, "He that walketh with wise men shall be wise" (Prov. 13:20). Just as certainly as a plant is affected by the sun and rain, or the lack thereof, our spirits are affected by the spirits which are around us, either for good or for evil. There is no way to avoid it. There is a way, however, to overcome the evil influence, and use the good.

The American poet, T.S. Eliot, in his "Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock", bitterly lamented the feeling of being "pinned and wriggling on the wall" like some butterfly specimen, to be observed and commented upon, but not to be heard from. This is the feeling of one who is misunderstood by those who are certain that their understanding is correct and who interpret what they see and hear only from their own perspective. This is the way Jesus lived his life. "I am for peace", his hurting Spirit cried out, "but when I speak, they are for war."

As holy and loved by God as he was, "we esteemed him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted" (Isa. 53:4). And so certain were some men that Jesus was cursed by God that they murdered him, thinking that they were doing God service. His every move and word were interpreted wrongly by those who "just knew" they were right. His was a lonely life, the loneliest which can be imagined. Even his disciples misinterpreted his work and his wisdom. "He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not" (Isa. 53:3). Jesus was "pinned and wriggling on the wall" by the opinions of men; his every wiggle taken as more proof that he was what they thought he was. Had it not been for the hand of God upholding him, Jesus would have succumbed to the pressure to think of himself as others thought of him, and he would certainly have given up on the noblest work ever done among men: the redemption of our race from sin. But God had long before determined that His precious Son Jesus would not fail nor be discouraged (Isa. 42:4); His omnipotent, loving hand held him up, as it holds up all who trust in Him.

No human spirit is strong enough to withstand the pressure of other human spirits. We shape one another's lives. And it being true, as the Apostle John wrote, that "the whole world lieth in wickedness", the pressure of the spirits around us is always away from God, not toward him. That is human nature. Without even trying, even that best of human love, the love of a mother, will lead the child into worldliness and death rather than godliness. This is the very reason Jesus came and died, to make available to us a Spirit that is not susceptible to the influence of this wicked world and that will enable us to overcome the constant pressure in this world to lie, to lust, and to doubt God's word. That holy Spirit is not overcome by the spirits of this age, nor can it be, for it is the Spirit of the Creator of all things. That holy Spirit never has self-doubt, is never pressured into a wrong decision, and is never confused by the cacophony of voices on this mad planet.

When we lived as sinners in the world, we lived according to the will of men, every one of us. Even the ones who boast of being independently minded, of being their "own person", not pushed and pulled by the crowds are influenced by the world to claim that for themselves-and maybe especially them. I was called a "ringleader" by school officials in both high school and college, as someone whom others followed into "rioting and drunkenness." But I was not a ringleader. I was a frightened little man, carried about by lust and pride, whipped into submission by spirits of sloth and foolishness. I was a whipped puppy, pressured to keep up an appearance, just as you are, if you are not walking in the spirit of Christ Jesus. If you are not being kept from sin by the power of the holy Spirit, you are most certainly living under the influence of the unholy spirits around you. If you think not, it is because you refuse to look honestly at the evidence, having your darkened mind made up, as I once did, and everything is interpreted only to mean what you want it to mean. Without the wisdom of Christ guiding us, all men are fools, even as they puff themselves up to think they understand themselves and their world.

The Spirit that led Jesus kept him from believing the lies that men told and believed concerning him. And Jesus warned those who would follow him that men would no more understand them than they understood him. "Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you and persecute you and say all manner of evil against you falsely for my sake. . . . for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you. . . . If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love its own. But because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. . . . They shall put you out of the synagogues; yea, the time cometh that whosoever killeth you will think that he doeth God service." If God's children stay close to Jesus, they will never be overcome by the unbelief that is in the world concerning them. But if they are drawn away from his side, they are very likely to be confused by the lies which the world believes concerning the family of God, and will behave accordingly.

Dear friend, if we do not stay filled with God's Spirit, we will be unable to resist the pressure of men's opinions concerning us. We will be discouraged in the way of true holiness, and the approval of others will become our goal. I want to encourage you, my brother, not to be discouraged, even if you have stumbled along the way. The world will use your errors and mistakes against you, saying "if his faith was real, he wouldn't have done that." The world will always see in you only what it wants to see. But God will use your mistakes for you, to teach you how better to please Him in the coming years-that is, if you will humbly come before Him to receive the love and forgiveness He freely gives to those who ask for it. May God always give us the grace to believe the truth and to receive His mercy, through Jesus the Lord freely extended to all who need it.