Pastor John's House Testimonies >>
Read about the wonderful things Jesus has done in our lives.
"God Healed My Pain"
About two or three months prior to recieving the HolyGhost, I had witnessed my stepmother die - a drowning accident. I feel that the experience really 'did me in' so to speak. I feel like this is when God let me hit rock bottom so that He could really start to mold me into what He wanted.
I don't remember too much in detail about her death, but I do remember praying harder than I ever had. I so desperately needed God - not just then but always. I didn't know God at the time but I needed him badly. I felt so small and vulnerable. I realized that I was not invinceable, and that life does not go on forever. Our lives are not in our own hands - and at the time that infuriated me. I had just witnessed a life pass away before my eyes - and there was nothing a single soul on this earth could have done about it. After that experience I fell completely apart. I just could not accept what had happened.
I knew that there was no way that I could get through this on my own, but felt like there was no one who could help me either - I had been pretty involved with drugs prior to this experience, and afterwards I threw myself into them. It was the only way I knew how to get away from the pain.
I felt so empty inside. At 15 years old, I was just a shell of a human being. I knew I was in some deep dark hole, but did not know how to get out. Jeremy's parents intervened, and at this point there was no hiding what I was. They saw the path that I was going down and offered me hope.
I remember sitting and listening to Mr. Mellick talk about God and soaking it all in. I felt love in the words he spoke. They were like nothing I had ever heard before, the feelings were like nothing I had ever felt before. Listening to him tell me about the life that God could offer me was almost too good to be true. It was almost like listening to him tell me a story - like it wasn't real. He offered to take me to a meeting where they go to worship God. So about a week later on a Wednesday night, I attended my first meeting.
I remember feeling things I had never felt before, real love. People who knew nothing about me wanting to get to know me, wanting to share the love of God with me. I remember, that night Pastor John was teaching about all of the wonderful things that come with being in God's family. It's so funny thinking back, because I remember with every word that would come out of Pastor John's mouth, I felt like somebody was dripping warm honey over top of my head. If I hadn't been in a room full of people, I probably would have just fallen over onto the floor. My brain just seemed to stop functioning. No thoughts, and no feelings, other than the thickness of what God was pouring out on me.
That night I laid in bed recalling what I had experienced. I was bewildered to say the least. I didn't know how to make sense of what had happened to me. In all of the years of going to church I had never felt those things, never felt that kind of love from others, never gotten an experience like that from church. So, on the following Friday I went back. Whatever had happened on Wednesday I wanted more of it. The meeting started and Pastor John began praying for people.. I had never seen anything like it. A room full of people seeking God ... it was beautiful.
After a few moments, I looked to my left and saw that Jeremy was being prayed for. That hit my heart hard. It made me jealous and it made me feel lonely. I started crying out feeling all the deep hurts of the life I was living, a life without God. I crumbled, inside and out. I didn't want to but I couldn't hold back. God wouldn't let me. Suddenly, I felt arms around me. I saw that it was Mr. Mellick, and after that, I just closed my eyes. He started praying for me, and at one point I felt every pain and hurt I had ever felt, rise to the surface of my soul and handed it to Jesus. I cried out and all of the sudden, my lips started to quiver, and sounds started coming out. I received the Holy Ghost!
It was one of the happiest days of my life, and my golden opportunity to find Jesus and peace. He has made me a person I never thought I could be and has given me a life I never dreamed I could have. He has blessed me beyond measure, given me a new past, and he will do that and more for anyone who will receive what it is he has to offer. I thank God for the path that he led me down to end up where I am now. I know he did it all to mend me and give me life.
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