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"Get to Work"
Rebekah, Elijah, John David, Ashley, Ellen, Aaron, Amanda, and myself went to Nashville Tennessee for an event held by Lou Engle in Nashville, TN.
When we arrived at “The Call”, we stood in line to get water to take to our seats. I was looking around at all the people there, and seeing how many there were. We had not yet been to the stands to see anything that was going on, but we could hear people singing and praising God. After standing there for awhile, I heard the Spirit say to me, “This is the spirit that kills.” I just stood there very quietly. I felt like I was going to get an education, and what I heard set the stage for my whole day.
Next, I got my water and I wanted to see what was going on, so I walked over to take a look. When I walked out and saw all the people standing there, I was overwhelmed. Everywhere I looked, I saw people with their hands lifted, singing, and speaking in tongues. I had never seen so many people speaking in tongues, never been around so many people speaking in tongues ever! Thousands of people. I was so overwhelmed with love for them, I began to cry. I cried for the first 10 minutes or so after I arrived. I was so sad. So touched. Those were my family that I could not embrace the way I wanted too. So sad for God’s people. As I looked out over the people and the stage and the music, I wept. Then, I saw how they had the stage and the music set up, and tears rolled down my face as I had the thought, “Jesus, they have made you a concert.” I understood what it meant to feel sorry for Jesus. They are so far away from him.
We went looking for Bekah, John David, and Ashley, and I found myself standing beside this lady who was probably in her late 40's, early 50's. She was crying, and the holy Ghost was speaking through her. I felt such compassion and love for her, I reached over and hugged her. We hugged and I was speaking in tongues, and she was crying. When we separated from each other, we pulled back and she looked at me and had the biggest, sweetest smile on her face. Tears were flowing down both her cheeks, and she was speaking in tongues very clearly. There was nothing to say at that moment. It was so real. I don’t think I will forget that face and the love of God we felt as we embraced. It is a picture imbedded in my memory forever. This was one of the highlights of my trip. After being with her, I felt the urgency to put out the tracts I had; to hug every person who was looking to be hugged; to pat someone on the shoulder or give them a kindly smile, something to aid them in their search for something real.
We then found Bekah and the others and sat down at our seats. They began to introduce denominations. They had each group to stand when they called out their names. Of course, we did not fit into any of the groups, so we remained in our seats. It was really something, to feel the pressure of others around us wondering why we did not stand. You could feel them wondering and looking but never asking. Lou Engle was praying and he made this statement, “God, let it go on record, the intent of the hearts here today.” I said, “Amen!” And, I believe it did.
There were so many thoughts and feelings that day! There were some sincere hearts there seeking God and looking for something to happen. It was an interesting group of people, from very young to old. The music would sometime be slow, and the Spirit would try to move among them, but as soon as it would, the loud music moved in and took over, and they would start to jump and dance around, like being at a concert. They do not know what dancing in the Spirit is; it was the opposite of what they were thinking. They took it that the loud music and dancing and the hype was the Spirit, when in reality, what they needed was the rest. It was the soft, light sounds that were touching their hearts.
There was a time when everyone was standing with their arms held up, and I was looking around at all of them. I felt so helpless standing there in the middle of all of them and knowing that they need what we have. There were so many of them! How do we get to them? All that I know, is to do our work. As I stood there, after feeling those feelings, I felt this ray of light, like a beam from heaven just came down on me, and thankfulness just flowed into my heart. It rolled through my body and I heard a voice say, “You are not confused.” I began thanking God, over and over, that I was not confused. I looked out over the multitude of people around me, thousands of people, everyone of them confused. They don’t know anything. They don’t know God. They don’t know what they have (if they have the holy Ghost). They don’t know His voice. They don’t know anything.
Then, I started having thoughts about our young children and where God has placed them, growing up in the knowledge of the truth. Also, those whom God has called out of the abomination that is killing them. What a blessing and what mercy it is that we are not confused! I saw something very valuable for us. Every truth that comes to us is from God. We are in the midst of people that God speaks to daily, and what He gives to us is not tainted. We are not having to pick through and see if it is from God or not. How valuable is that? What mercy from God! What a holy place. It opened my eyes to see that there is a purpose for us to have been created to be in this place, at this time in our lives. God created it that way. It is not a coincidence that we are here. It was designed for us and it is a treasure. A valuable place in God. His best for us! We have something to offer to His people that He has given to us, and He is trusting us with it. I was thinking about our young ones and I kept hearing “Find it! Find it! Find that place and go for it.....and don’t hold back. Love it with your whole heart and go there. Go there with Him.”
Sometime during or after this, Lou Engle began to call people to repentance for different things. He started naming off different things that “the church” needed to be cleansed from. He started off by naming things like; hypocrisy, pornography, immorality, etc. And as I listened to him, I hung my head, ashamed, that we have had some of the things he listed amongst us. And then, thankful, to see that God is cleansing us from every unrighteousness so we will be able to help those who need us and come to a place that is not mixed or divided. They cannot handle such things, things they are trying to get away from. It was disgraceful to know we have it, but yet exciting to know it’s not going to be tolerated. And Jesus is fixing it for them!!
Later, I was standing there in the middle of all those people, who were God’s children with the holy Ghost, and remembering what the Spirit told me earlier. “This is the spirit that kills.” I could hear everyone shouting and Lou Engle was saying, “You’ve got to fight for what you believe in. You’ve got to stand up for your faith.” I bowed my head and said, “Lord, I can’t pray that prayer. I can’t pray like that.” Then, I just bowed my head. I began to pray for my enemies.
In the background, I could hear the crowd saying in reply to Mr. Engle, “Yeah! Yeah!” Instantly, the scene changed from me standing there in the midst of those people, to me standing in the midst of the Jews. And what I heard was, “Kill him! Crucify him!” And then I realized that I was standing in the middle of God’s people, a lot of them. And they [God’s own people] were the ones that killed Jesus. It was the same spirit. And, even though the ones around me looked nice and sweet, let the real truth be spoken, and we would be the ones they would be against. I knew then, that they were caught up in the hype of it all. And that kind of “pep rally” would do the same thing again. I could feel that underlying warring spirit around us. I saw how the young ones there were being trained to act under that violent, murderous, hateful spirit, unbeknownst to them, so that they can be used thinking it is Jesus that is behind them. Oh, the sadness and urgency that came over me. I knew it was God that was controlling that time and place for us all, and I understood that prayer and experiences are what our young people are going to need to face the things they will face. It was some kind of experience. That’s when I was overwhelmed with the urgency of God’s people coming out of Christianity. They have got to come out. They are in the very thing they hate! And it will destroy them.
My overall feeling was “get to work”. More so for others and those who are seeking something real from God. To pray more. To make sure that I am doing what I should do and examine myself to be holy in God’s sight and His children’s.
It was really an experience for me to go and see and feel the love of God that I felt for His children who are out there confused, abused, longing for a morsel to hold on to until they get the next one. It put something special in my heart for them. I pray for them differently now....I pray God will open their ears to hear when He does speak to them. I pray that their eyes will be opened if any truth comes their way. They don’t know anything. They are scared little children running around in the darkness, and we have some safety and light for them. God help them find it! God help us find them! I pray for us as a body now more than ever. We need it, and we need them. What an experience. It has touched me in many ways. Thank you for giving me the opportunity.
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