Diane Kirk

"My Story of God."

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On December lst, 2006, I was scheduled to have my routine mammogram at this clinic in Charlotte with a special doctor I really like. After I had the mammogram, she said, “It looks really good,but let’s do the ultrasound like we do most of the time along with the mammogram.” (We do this because there is a history of breast cancer in my family.) As the doctor did the ultrasound, she kept coming back to this one spot. Of course, my heart starts to beat a little faster. She asked me to get dressed and she would go over it with me. I said, “If you have something to tell me, I would like Jim, my husband, to hear. He is in the waiting room.” When I got dressed and was sitting in this special waiting room, I reached over and picked up the Bible and started reading in Psalms. I said, “Jesus, please help me.” I knew something was not right. I heard this little voice saying to me, “I am helping you.” She called Jim and me back to her office and said, “I need to set you up with a biopsy. We just need to check this out.”

So, on December 8th, I went to Charlotte Radiologist and had a biopsy done with this very caring doctor. Towards the end of the procedure, I started thinking of my mom who passed away from breast cancer at 87 years old. A tear came down my cheek. The doctor looked at me with her eyes so strongly looking into my eyes, and said, “You are going to be all right.” I said, “Thank you.” She said, “I wouldn’t just say that.” It meant so much for me to hear those words. It was as if Jesus was saying those words through her. That is quite unheard of for a doctor to say that. She said I would know the results by the following Wednesday. Wednesday came, and I heard nothing. So, Wednesday afternoon Jim called the doctor for the results. She said it hadn’t come back yet, but she would call us right back. She called back and said it was atypical and the machine that sets up the slides had malfunctioned that day and the biopsy would have to be repeated. She kept saying, “I am so sorry.”

That evening we went to Pastor John’s house and I went up for prayer. It felt so wonderful!!!! I felt like I could float back to my seat. I really felt maybe I had been healed, and when I went for the second biopsy they might not find anything. I didn’t know anything, but I knew God did. And whatever it was, He was with me. I felt so much peace. It was wonderful. I appreciated all the love my brothers and sisters (in the Lord) were giving to me also. When one sister hugged me, it felt like Jesus holding me. I had the same feeling with others, it was so sweet. I appreciated it all.

So then, my second biopsy went as scheduled. Again, the doctor was so apologetic. She said, “I will let you know as soon as I know. I will carry your phone number with me everywhere.” I thought that was so sweet.

I knew it usually took three business days for the results. Monday morning I was taking a shower, I couldn’t hear the phone ring in the shower, but the doctor had left a message for me to call her. After I got out of the shower, my cell phone rang. I looked at the number that was calling me on the cell phone and it was Jim’s number. My heart skipped a little beat. I thought, this is probably the results. Jim gave me the news. A few days ago he had said to me, “I would rather you hear the news from me instead of the doctor.” She told Jim it was cancer but a very small lesion. It couldn’t be seen on the mammogram, but the ultrasound picked it up. She said, if all breast cancers were like this, breast cancer would not have a bad name. Jim said, “I wish I was with you.” I said, “I am okay, I am not alone.” I got off the phone and cried just a few minutes. I immediately called Pastor John and told him, although I hardly remember what I said. I then went out on our screen porch and looked out over the field behind our house. I cried a little, and then the grass appeared so green. The birdies were singing so beautifully. It felt like I did when I got the Holy Ghost. That is how everything appeared, so much brighter and clearer. Then, I praised God some more, and I felt so much peace. In an hour, my daughter Carrie arrived with my grandchildren, Samuel and Samantha. She said, “I want to be with you. I would be just at home wishing I was there.” Also Barbara, Pastor John’s wife, stopped by, and that felt really good. I appreciated that so much; her words were so encouraging.

I was then set up for an MRI in Charlotte. It is a huge center just for breast MRI’s. And guess who the radiologist was that was on duty that day reading the MRI’s? I guess the radiologists float around different offices to read them. It was the same wonderful radiologist doctor I had before, the one who did my biopsies. Jesus arranged that also. It was so sweet. Although I didn’t see her that day, I knew she was going to read mine. The MRI was very interesting. They inject dye to see if there are any other areas involved. It also checks to see if the other breast is involved or if the cancer is in the lymph nodes. I got through that just fine. We had a few stops before we arrived home in Lexington. There was a call on our cell phone from this wonderful doctor who read the MRI. She said, “Good news!” It looks so tiny, 6 mm’s, and nothing seen anywhere else. I was set up with the surgeon for December 22nd.

I met the doctor and I liked him. He walked in the treatment room wearing a little bow-tie. He explained everything to me and handed me a book entitled, Breast Cancer. I guess his visit really hit home. I was thankful Jim was with me again on this visit. We were then set up for a anesthesiologist consult later. I was reading in the Bible one day, I believe in Matthew. The words, “Be of Good Cheer” jumped out of the page to me. I thought, yes, Jesus wants me to be of good cheer. Thank you, Jesus. Many times I would wake up in the night and just say, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.” One night I woke myself up singing, “Jesus Loves Me.” It was really sweet.

I stopped by Pastor John’s one afternoon with Carrie, Samuel and Samantha. I just felt so thankful. Jesus really loves me. He is carrying me through this. He is picking my doctors, and he is making it so easy (although the waiting has been hard). But I try to keep busy doing fruitful things during the waiting period. I just want to please Jesus. Barbara said to me, “I knew you would get the gold out of it.” That really meant a lot to me. All the emails and words of encouragement people have said to me; I am thankful.

Well, my surgery is scheduled for January 9th. It is all in God’s hands. He is right. I feel like a different person now. There isn’t a second that goes by in my day that I am not thinking of Jesus. I feel peaceful. I feel surrounded by God’s love. I love being surrounded by God’s people. These are my happiest days. Thank you, Jesus. On the wall in the apartment are photos that a dear sister in the Lord, Betty, gave me to remind me of that wonderful day I went up for prayer. That was one of the most beautiful gifts I had ever received. Thank you, Jesus. I am just so thankful. I just want to please Jesus. . . . . I want to be a little dove through all of this. I am so thankful for all the words of encouragement, hugs, prayers, and everything everyone has given to me.

When I was in Graham, Carrie asked me to stop by the house for a minute. She had wrapped in a little pink tissue paper a little handkerchief pillow she had made for me. On the pillow in cross-stitch were the words, “Be of Good Cheer”, and in the very corner, very small, were the words, “I love you. Mama.” That meant so much to me. By now the tears are flowing down my face. I am so thankful. . . . . . . . This is all a story of God. . . . . . . .

February 5, 2007:

On January 9th , I had my surgery. I did well with the help of Jesus. They put needles with dye to find the lymph nodes closest to the lesion. The radiologist that performed the dye test asked me how I found the lesion. (She was having a little hard time finding it on the ultrasound herself.) I explained the story to her. She said, “Your prognosis is good.” I was thankful for those words.

In the surgery, I had two lymph nodes removed, and they were cancer free, so they did not have to remove any more lymph nodes. And, I got to come home that afternoon and not spend the night in the hospital. It took me a few days to get over the general anesthesia, but I did well. Thank you, Jesus. That was all good news. In about a week, I went back to the surgeon, and he read the pathology report to me. He said, it is very good news; it is a slow-growing cancer, and he said, all my margins around the lesion were clear of cancer cells. But this one side was not as wide as he would like. So the surgeon said I needed another slight surgery to make that one margin wider. I know he saw the disappointment in my face. He explained about 10% of the time they have to go back in to do more surgery. The surgeon said, “ I am not God, ……. but there is a God.” I patted him on the shoulder and said “Yes, there is.” He also said the lesion had little tentacles coming off of it, so actually, the cancer in its entirety was a little larger than they thought. He also said to me, “You are going to be OK.”

I was thankful that the doctor would say that to me. That was Jesus also. So about three weeks later I went in for more surgery. I am now recuperating very well. I go to the surgeon tomorrow. Hopefully, it will be my last visit. After I finish healing for a few more weeks, the plans as of now are to start radiation for 30 days. I feel like I am taking baby steps through all of this, but Jesus is holding my hand. I just want to get what I am to get from all of this and stay so very thankful and of good cheer.

March 6, 2007:

I have just completed my 4th day of radiation. I go every day for a treatment until I have had 33 treatments. (I am off on weekends.) I am doing very well. I just had my checkup today with my surgeon, and he says all looks good. They say the only symptom I may have with the radiation is just tiredness later on. If someone would have told me 10 years ago that I had breast cancer, I would have reacted differently then, I believe. Only with the help of Jesus have I been able to stay of good cheer. I completely amaze myself. It is not about me; it is about God. This has all been a story about God. I just want to please Him. So the story continues. . . . . . a story of God. . . . . . . . . . . .

April l6, 2007:

I have just completed my 33rd radiation treatment. Praise God!!!! I had my brothers and sisters take me to most of my treatments. Who would ever guess it was so good going to my treatments? They traveled three hours round-trip to take me. I was completely “taken” when Barbara said I have a list of ones that want to take you. All I could do was cry with thankfulness. We would sometimes meet Jim for lunch and he was able to have the fellowship also. It was very sweet.

I had a special therapist called Murphy. I really feel God gave me Murphy for my radiation treatments. He knew my brothers and sisters were taking me, and he said, “You have so much support.” I said, “Yes, I do.” He said, “You are having fellowship also.” And I said, “Yes, I am.” It was like Murphy was understanding a little bit. Another day he said to me, “ I am going to have to find another favorite patient.” (I only had 4 days left.) I said, “Oh, Murphy, I bet you say that to everyone” (kidding him). He said, “No. So many come in here angry.” I said, “I am just thankful”. He said, “I can tell." And then he said, “God bless you.” Another time I told him that I get a little nervous coming to radiation. He acted surprised and said, “You do?” He said some people need sedatives to come. I told him, “ I just talk to Jesus”. He said, “I just talk to him all the time; he is the best therapist of all.”

On my last day, I printed Murphy my testimony about all of this and also a “Night Music II” CD. When I handed it to him, I said, “I could tell you loved Jesus.” He said, “Yes, but unfortunately, around here you can’t talk about that.” He said, “I could be a banker and other things, but I wanted to help people.” I started to shake his hand to say good- bye, and he said, “I take hugs.” So, I gave him the best hug ever, and he returned it to me. Thank you, Jesus. I hope our paths will cross again someday, but hopefully not there.

Also, there is this counselor named Betsy. I was reading in the inside waiting area one day for treatment, and she asked how I was. I told her I was fine. She sat down and started talking. I told her about Jesus holding my hand through this and my experience when I had gotten my mammogram and ultrasound, and Jesus telling me “I am helping you.” Then Betsy said, “That is wonderful. Have you heard His voice before?” I told her, “Yes, but not quite like that.” I started to cry, and she handed me a Kleenex. I told her these were tears of thankfulness. Then I saw her diplomas on the wall that she was from NY. I asked her if she liked it here. She said it had been hard because she had been through a divorce here with two small children, and that her parents were living in SC. Then she started crying. So I handed the Kleenex box back to her. ( I thought to myself, “And this is the counselor. I hope I am helping her.”)

Then one day in the waiting area there was this young girl (in her 30’s) sitting there waiting to go into radiation . You could tell she had already had her round of chemo, and now she was doing radiation. I had this urging from Jesus to hug her and I didn’t, thinking, “What would she think about this complete stranger hugging her?” I got on the elevator and left. But, I told Jesus that if I saw her again, I would hug her. I didn’t want to lose that chance again. So one Friday, there she was sitting there all alone. I just went over to hug her. She said, “Oh, thank you.” I saw her another day, and she was nodding off sleeping in the waiting room. I will always remember that young girl.

Anyway, these are a few of my experiences that I have had. If I have had just a tiny, tiny impact on anyone, I can just thank God. I have just tried to be of good cheer. And I owe it all to God. It is just a story of God. . .

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